Forever Love
by Detective Olivia Stabler
Summary: His son, her daughter & a forbidden love that was bound to blossom. But tragedy strikes when the young couple find themselves with nowhere to turn. They do the unthinkable, deciding that death together must be better than living apart. WARNING: This story deals with the effects of teen suicide. *Starts off a little slow, but it will get better. Will be better than the summary.*
1. 1) Life As We Know It

_**AUTHOR' S NOTE: Ok, I know this sound very similar to "White Picket Fence," but it is different, I swear. There is so much more to come on this story and you won't get the full affect until it all begins to come together. I have not quite decided if this will lead to EO romance or not, I need to get a feel for it first and see where it takes me. This story will discuss the topic of teen suicide and it is not for everyone. I just want to let that be known from the start so that I do not offend anyone. Thanks for checking it out! Chapter two is in the works! Please remember to review!**_

_**~ Detective Olivia Stabler ~ **_

_Forever Love_

_(Chapter One: Life As We Know It_)

Olivia drove as quickly and carefully as she could. The lights on her squad car flashed and sirens blared, blending with the sounds of the ambulance she was chasing. When she arrived at the hospital Kathy and Elliot were already there, their son Eli had been brought in moments earlier in a different ambulance.

Olivia moved along the gurney that held her daughter until they reached two large steel doors.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, you'll have to wait here. We cannot allow anyone beyond this point," a doctor said rushing past her between the doors. "We'll do everything we can."

Olivia stood in shock, feeling a cold sweep over her body as the doors closed once more and she lost sight of Emma. She prayed that somehow everything would be alright, though deep inside she knew reality was that could very well have been the last time she would ever see her daughter alive.

"Mrs. Benson," a soft warm voice repeated from behind her.

"Yes," Olivia replied snapping out of her daze for a moment as she spun around to see a young woman in a nurses outfit. "Why don't I get you a bottle of water or some coffee and show you to the waiting room?"

She blinked as the young woman held out her hand.

"They just brought in my daughter," she mumbled wiping her hands over her face and looking over her shoulder at the doors once more.

"I promise I will let you know something as soon as they tell me. You look kind of pale, you should really sit down."

Olivia drew a staggered breath and forced a smile.

"A cup of coffee does sound nice," she said trying to make the girl feel helpful.

"If you want to have a seat in there I can bring it to you. Cream or sugar?"

Olivia pondered the question for a moment as if it really even mattered at all. Her body was so pumped full of adrenaline at the moment she probably wasn't going to taste it anyway.

"Black is fine," she replied with a smile. The stronger, the better, she thought to herself as she walked around the corner and into the waiting area.

In the corner of the room a woman sat holding a small child. The little boy had dark , glassy eyes and rosy cheeks and appeared as if he could have been running a fever. The child couldn't have been more than three or four years old and was sucking his thumb. He raised his head only for a moment to smile at Olivia, before returning his attention to the television on the wall where a Spongebob Squarepants cartoon was coming on.

She took a deep breath and scanned her eyes over the rest of the seemingly empty room, before taking a seat herself. She wondered for a moment where Kathy and Elliot could be. They were here somewhere, Elliot had followed the ambulance that took Eli and she had seen Kathy's car in the parking lot when she pulled in. She wondered how things were going with Emma and wondered about Eli as well.

The kids had disappeared together two days earlier and they had been searching the city streets for them. Still somehow, Olivia figured they would take care of each other and that everything would be fine once they found them. She never dreamed it would come to this.

A credit card company contacted Elliot after his credit card was used to pay for a room at a cheap hotel downtown. Cragen forbid either of them to do the follow up, so Munch and Fin stepped in. They sat for a bit waiting, then Elliot stood up and walked from the bullpen. Olivia recognized the look in his eyes when she tried to stop him, but he just shook his head and kept on walking. Olivia grabbed the keys to her squad car and followed him across town to the dump of a hotel where the kids had been found. The first ambulance was pulling away and Emma was just being loaded into the second when she arrived.

At this point all they knew was that both teens were unconscious when Munch and Fin arrived. It also appeared that Emma had vomited and she heard the medic say that Eli was seizing as they closed the doors behind him and drove away.

She forced another smile and her hands trembled as she accepted the coffee cup from the young nurse. Olivia stared for a moment into the dark brew, wishing it were something stronger. At this point they really had no idea what was wrong with the kids and all of the worst possibilities were running through her mind.

Kathy and Elliot were arguing when they entered the room. She over heard Kathy shout that this was his fault as she jabbed him in the chest with her fingertip. They stopped in the doorway and Olivia raised her eyes to look at them.

Elliot had tears in his eyes. His face was all red and puffy and it was obvious he had already been crying for a while. In all of their years as partners and friends Olivia had never seen him cry.

Kathy, however, seemed more angry than saddened. But everyone handles things in their own way. Her eyes locked in a glare on Olivia and the scowl of her brow announce that she felt Liv was to blame as well.

"I can't stay in here," Kathy snapped before pushing past Elliot and disappearing once more.

Olivia stared doe eyed at him, refusing to blink. Eventually Elliot made his way over and sat down beside her.

"How are you holding up?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Kind of freaking out, you?"

"We're here," he replied looking back at the waiting room doorway. "Have you heard anything about Emma?"

"Nothing. Any news on Eli?"

"Not yet," he replied staring down into her coffee cup.

"It's still hot," she replied offering him the cup.

"That's alright."

"It's okay. I didn't really want it, but that poor girl at the counter was trying desperately to help, so I let her get me coffee."

"That was nice of you."

Their hands brushed for a moment as he took the paper cup from her hand and gulped the strong black liquid.

"What was that all about?" she asked looking back at the door where Kathy Stabler could be heard, but not seen.

"She's making some calls."

"No, I mean her blaming you for all of this."

Elliot stared into her eyes for a moment.

"You know what that was about."

"Elliot, anything that happened between us was years ago. Before either of the kids entered the picture. She's gotta know that it has been over between us for a very long time."

"She knows. She just can't forget. Every time we argue, it seems to come back around to this."

"And she doesn't trust you because of me?"

"She doesn't trust me around you because of me," he clarified.

"Must be hell considering we work together every day."

"Yea, sometimes I think it is," he replied staring into her with the cool blue of his eyes. "We slept together, Olivia. We had a thing. And I cheated on her. That isn't something someone can just get over."

"You were separated. The divorce papers had already been filed. And I can count on one hand the number of times we had sex. There is nothing between us but friendship. She forgave you. And she wanted to give it another shot and stay with you. She should find a way to get past it. Besides, that is hardly what matters right now."

"I know that. She knows that. She is just scared, like we are and she doesn't know how to handle it either. So she freaks out, just like you and I. Only she tends to freak out a little louder than some."

"God, what is taking those doctors so long?" Olivia exhaled standing to pace around the room.

"Let me know if you hear anything about Emma. I'd better go find my wife," Elliot replied.

"El, let me know about Eli, too. I really hope everything turns out alright."

Elliot smiled a half hearted smile and disappeared into the hall in search of Kathy.

Olivia sat in the waiting room for another hour, then she just couldn't take it anymore. She got up and began to wander around the hospital's emergency wing, eventually stopping in the hall in front to the two large metal doors that seemed to have swallowed her daughter hours earlier. She sat in the floor against the wall, carefully tucked out of the way of any oncoming traffic. If and when the doctors emerged with news, this is where they would come from. And this was as close as she could get to being with her little girl right now.

After a while, Kathy and Elliot appeared and took up residence on the opposite wall. Kathy seemed to have calmed her anger and was now in the tearful-worried state of shock. She clung tight to Elliot's arm as she sobbed and took only small hiccup type breaths.

Olivia looked down at the empty paper coffee cup she still held and felt guilty that she, herself didn't seem to have more tears. But she was too afraid to cry. Something horrible had happened here and she still wasn't quite sure what. Whatever it was, for better or worse, she knew this day would change their lives forever.

Olivia's head popped up as the large metal doors flew open. She jumped to her feet and watched as a doctor walked right past her and made his way over to Kathy and Elliot. Olivia tried hard to overhear the conversation going on across the room, but there were only quiet mumbles. She watched for a moment, nervously as the doctor blocked her view of Elliot and talked with his hands.

"Ms. Benson?"

Her head spun around to see Emma's doctor standing behind her.

"Yes?"

This was the same doctor who had stopped her at the doors and kept her from being by Emma's side.

"If you can come with me…."

Olivia gulped, feeling a knot rise in her throat. Of course they are not gonna tell you your kid is dead in front of a room full of strangers, she thought as she followed him through the doors.

"Oh God no!" she heard Kathy's voice from behind her and turned to see her drop to the floor in tears just as the doors closed behind her.

Eli was dead.


	2. 2) The Choices We Make

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: The italicized words are flashbacks of events that took place in the past. Thanks for checking it out! Please remember to review! **_

_**~ Detective Olivia Stabler ~**_

_Forever Love_

_(Chapter Two: The Choices We Make_)

Olivia leaned against the wall and stared through the blinds into the room where her daughter laid surrounded by machines. Beside her the doctor spoke softly but his voice echoed in her ear. She drew a deep breath as tears slid slowly down her cheek.

"We pumped her stomach. The paramedics that brought her in said she vomited at the scene. I think between that and what we got we have prevented the majority of the drug from making it into her system."

"Is she going to be okay?" Olivia asked placing her palm against the cold glass as she stared at the tubes and machines surrounding Emma.

"She's still pretty touch and go. I have her hooked up to monitors to track her vitals and we're giving her oxygen. I don't expect her to wake up tonight, she'll still need some time to sleep it off and she'll probably have the worlds worst hang over in the morning."

"But you expect her to wake up?" She asked trying to find a bit of hope in this mess of a situation.

"I can't promise anything just yet. She is still critical. But she's breathing and her heart is strong. Those are good signs. But we wont know what damage this may have caused until she wakes up and we are able to run additional tests."

"Your opinion…." Olivia said with a slight pause, "is there any way this could have been an accidental overdose?"

The man stared into her eyes knowing how bad she wanted to avoid the blatantly obvious truth.

"Ma'am, from what I can tell we just emptied a bunch of sleeping pills and half a bottle of vodka from your daughter's stomach, there is no way this was accidental."

Olivia smoothed her hands over her face and drew a staggered breath.

"Why don't I take you in to see her now?"

Olivia nodded as she followed him into the room. Emma laid motionless covered in a soft white blanket. Large machines with flashing lights surrounded her hospital bed and there had been a tube placed down her throat to help her breathe. Of all of the horrible things she had seen in her life, this scene was by far the scariest.

"Depending on how she does through the night, I can probably get rid of some of these machines in the morning. I wanna leave that ventilation tube in through the night, just to make things a little easier on her. Right now rest is the best thing for her. I will also have to place her on a suicide hold when she wakes up and I have ordered a Psychological evaluation. We are going to take good care of Emma, Ms. Benson."

"Thank you."

"I'll give you two a little time alone."

Olivia sat down in a chair beside the bed and just stared at her daughter for a moment watching her breathe.

"Oh Em, what in the world is going on with you?" she sighed taking Emma's hand in hers and kissing it. "I'm sorry baby. I am so sorry that things got this bad for you and I wasn't there for you. Please don't leave me, baby."

Olivia leaned forward kissed Emma's cheek. She moved upward smelling her hair, then scooted her chair forward and laid her head down on the bed.

"I love you, sweetheart," she whispered softly against Emma's ear.

"_**Does it even matter?" Elliot asked clearing his throat as she stared at him through tears.**_

"_**Does it matt….of course it matters, Elliot! You are MARRIED with a toddler at home! Your wife thinks that whatever this was between us was over years ago! I am sitting here telling you that I am pregnant, that you are probably the father and you are asking me if it even matters?" Olivia hiccupped as she wiped away the tears streaming down her face as if there were any way of hiding exactly how upset she really was. **_

_**She sat down on the edge of the bath tub and stared at the pregnancy test in her hand, her fourth positive. **_

"_**Liv…."**_

"_**Don't! Just don't," she said tossing the test onto the counter beside the others and pushing past him into the bedroom. "Don't touch me, don't talk to me….and don't you dare look at me like that!"**_

_**Elliot watched in silence as she opened her closet door and tossed three of his suits into a pile in the floor.**_

"_**This time it really is over," she replied shoving the pile of clothing against his chest and pointing toward the apartment door. **_

"_**What about the baby?"**_

"_**What about it?" she snapped not sure if she was more angry at him or scared of the situation. "I will take care of it. Like I take care of everything else." **_

"_**What if it's mine?"**_

_**She shifted her eyes up to glare at him.**_

"_**Does it even matter?" she snarled at him.**_

"_**That isn't what I meant."**_

"_**Well, that is what you said. Oh shit would have been a more acceptable response, Elliot. 'Does it even matter?' What a dick," she mumbled sitting down on the sofa to cry some more.**_

"_**It doesn't. Matter. If this baby is mine, if it isn't….none of that matters. I am the one who is here, Olivia. He is gone. He has been for months. And I don't see him running back here to take responsibility for a child he never wanted if he couldn't even handle the responsibility of being a decent husband. It doesn't matter if this child shares my blood and my DNA. All that matters is that I am here and he is not coming back. All that matters is that…." he stared into her eyes wanting so badly to say those three little words she was dying to hear. "You are having a baby," he said with a nervous chuckle. "And I want to be a part of this kid's life whether it is mine or not," he said sitting down beside her and taking her hand. "Let me be this baby's father."**_

"_**Elliot, she damn near killed you the last time. You know as well as I do that if Kathy found out we slept together again she would take the kids and leave. For good this time. And there is a good chance that she would keep them from you. She is just starting to trust you again. And she hates me."**_

"_**Do you blame her? You are younger and I have given you everything that I wouldn't give to her."**_

"_**What have you given me that she has to be jealous of?"**_

"_**Trust. I tell you everything. Confide in you things that I would never tell her, could never tell her….for whatever reason. Details of cases and the things that give me nightmares when we have a child victim we can't get justice for. She would never truly understand those emotional scars, Liv. But you do, because you have them too. I give you time. We are together every waking hour and some of the sleeping, at least six days a week. It is you who is my best friend, not her. When I have a bad day or something horrible happens….or something wonderful," he said with a smile as he placed his palm over her abdomen, "it is you that I can't wait to share that with. Not my wife. I love her, I really do. And she is the mother of my children, but the way I see it, Olivia I have given you so many things that I ever gave to her. The only thing I gave to her that I didn't give to you….was my last name."**_

_**The only one thing that really counted, Olivia thought to herself. The one defining piece of evidence to provide a good solid reason she just walk away and be done with the torment of sleeping with a married man. When it comes right down to it, Elliot chose Kathy. And after the original affair when Kathy had filed for divorce and things were all up in the air, he chose her again by deciding to stay and try to work things out with her. That was when they broke it off the first time. And until one really bad day about two months ago they had managed to remain just friends as they had agreed. **_

"_**Damn you," she said, pushing his hand away and trying hard to still be angry with him. "This is all your fault."**_

"_**I wasn't the only one in that bed, Olivia."**_

"_**You were the one who got shot," she snapped flipping her dark eyes up to glare at him. "We had done so good at being professional….at just being friends. Nothing inappropriate and then…."**_

"_**It's not like I planned it."**_

"_**I know," she groaned covering her face with her hands in shame. Things were quiet as she stared out the window into the rain. "I thought I'd lost you," she whispered softly.**_

_**Elliot felt a hard knot rising in his throat as he realized she was crying once more, this time for a very different reason.**_

"_**I saw that bullet enter your chest. I saw where it hit….you should have been dead."**_

"_**I'm sorry to have disappointed you," he said rubbing the pink scar from the wound.**_

_**She turned to look at him with tears streaming down her face.**_

"_**You didn't really think I would just up and die on you, did ya?" he said with a smile trying to lighten the mood.**_

"_**You damn near did. And Kathy was right there….hovering over you, watching you like a hawk. She wouldn't even let me into your hospital room to see you. Fin had to distract her so that I could sneak in."**_

_**Elliot chuckled.**_

"_**I had never been so afraid of losing anyone in my life. I didn't see you again for weeks, not until you came back to work. You have no idea how hard that was on me."**_

"_**I could imagine," he said softly staring into her eyes.**_

"_**Between that and the disillusion of my own short marriage….I was fractured. Broken into a thousand pieces and just barely holding myself together. That night in the cribs…."**_

"_**Was one of the best nights of my life," he confessed.**_

"_**Was a mistake. We were both wounded. About to fall apart and desperately searching for something or someone to hold on to, something real. But it wasn't real. The reality here is that it was just another affair with a married man. A married man who is not my husband. I don't know if this baby is yours, Elliot. I don't know, because three nights before our little rendezvous in the cribs I spent a desperate night with my husband fighting to hold that relationship together as it crumbled between my fingers."**_

"_**And he still left?"**_

"_**He signed the papers the next morning. Look, this was different than it was before. Before….before we were together. Physically and emotionally. We cared and at some point in time I am pretty sure we even loved. But this time, this time truly was just a mistake. Just sex. Just needing someone….anyone and we just happened to find each other. There is no relationship between us anymore. Not a romantic one. Definitely not enough to destroy the relationship that you are actually working to keep with your wife. You love her, I know you do. That is why you won't say it to me, even though I still see it in your eyes." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "You said it yourself, El. It doesn't really matter. Not enough to ruin the marriage you have finally managed to save. It was one night. And there is no reason for you to lose your entire family over this….especially since we don't even know for sure if the baby is yours."**_

"_**What are you saying? I should just walk away and pretend it never happened? That I don't know that this baby growing inside of you could be my son or daughter?"**_

"_**That is exactly what I am saying."**_

"_**If I do that this baby won't even have a father, Olivia."**_

"_**Don't be stupid, Elliot. You can give up one child that may not really even be yours….or lose five that you know for sure are." **_

_**She blinked as he gazed into her.**_

"_**I don't want to be that guy. That guy who just walks away and leaves their kid without a father."**_

"_**I know you don't." She took another deep breath and squeezed his hand. "But you are always going to be there in the baby's life. It isn't like you wouldn't know it or you have to give it up completely."**_

"_**Just give up my rights. And what will you tell people? What will you tell this baby, when it asks about its father?"**_

"_**I was married. And just as my divorce was finalized I found out I was pregnant."**_

_**Elliot stared at her.**_

"_**It is the truth."**_

"_**It is only half of the truth."**_

"_**It is all the truth that I know."**_

"_**That's not good enough."**_

"_**It is going to have to be. I can't magically make you not be married. And I can't magically make a new, not shitty, husband appear. What other choice do I have? I don't see any other options here."**_

_**Things were quiet between them for a few moments.**_

"_**If this is your baby, you want to do the right thing, right?"**_

"_**Of course."**_

"_**This is the right thing, El. Breaking up your marriage, your family over a relationship that was over years ago….that is the mistake. I will be okay. The baby will be okay. I can do this."**_

_**Elliot considered her proposition for another moment. It killed him to walk away from her and leave her in this situation, but she what if she was right? What if this was the right thing to do? If Kathy found out, she would take their kids and move somewhere far away near her family, whether this baby was his or not. She probably wouldn't let him see them and if she did it wouldn't be more that a couple of days a month. He felt an obligation to Olivia and to this child, but he had obligations to the five children at home as well.**_

"_**You really want to do this alone?"**_

"_**I'm not completely alone," she said with a smile. "I have my friends."**_

"_**You have me. No matter what, I am here. And if we go into this and you change your mind….it's okay."**_

"_**It's not and I won't. But that is sweet of you to say. You will still be the father figure in this kids life, you know."**_

"_**I should be."**_

_**She smiled and nestled her head against his arm.**_

"_**You can be the cool uncle who always lets him get away with everything. The one who hypes him up on sugar even though mom said not to," she mumbled against his arm.**_

"_**The one with the gun to scare off all of the losers when SHE starts dating," he corrected her and she smiled. **_

_**Elliot placed a tender kiss against her forehead.**_

"_**If you need me, if this baby needs me…..at any time, for anything at all you do not hesitate to call me. Promise?"**_

"_**I promise," she whispered. "And this is just our little secret. We keep it between us. No one else needs to know, okay?"**_

"_**Yea," he agreed softly still feeling a bit ashamed of their situation. **_

_**Elliot turned and placed a small kiss against her lips, then smoothed his hand over the place where the child was developing in her womb. He forced a smile trying hard to hold himself together and be strong for her as he turned and walked out the door. Olivia collapsed on the sofa and burst into tears.**_

_**Half way home Elliot pulled his car over on the side of the road. He flipped though the stations on the radio trying to find some sort of distraction to take his mind off everything that had just happened. He turned his wiper blades up to a faster speed as the rain began to pour heavier down around him.**_

_**He took a deep breath.**_

"_**Pull yourself together man," he said reaching up to adjust his rearview mirror to deflect the bright lights of the semi truck coming down the road. As he did he caught a glimpse into his own misty eyes. **_

_**He stared himself down for a moment in disapproval. Then he wiped away his tears and started the car once more.**_

"_**This was the way she wanted it," he reminded himself, but sounding unconvincing. "This is the right thing to do."**_

Olivia raised her head what seemed like only moments later, realizing she had fallen asleep. She yawned and stretched, then immediately shifted her attention to the woman across the room.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Oh, I didn't mean to startle you," the young woman said softly. "I just needed to change her IV bag."

"What time is it?" she asked noticing the sun was barely beginning to peek between the blinds.

"Right around six o'clock. The doctor will be in soon to check up on Emma. But her vitals look good."

Olivia smiled.

"Good girl," she whispered kissing her daughter's hand. "I didn't realize I had fallen asleep."

The woman smiled.

"You looked exhausted. I figured you could use the rest and the best time for that is when she is resting. When I saw you were asleep I decided to cover you with a blanket and just let you be."

"Thank you," Olivia said with a smile as the doctor entered the room.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go ahead and give her a bed bath before the doctor arrives. And get her freshened up a little," the woman said shifting her attention to the catheter bag hanging from the side of the bed.

"Oh, you need me to step out," Olivia replied suddenly realizing what she was trying to say. "I can do that," she replied picking up her purse. "Is there some place I can get some coffee?"

"Starbucks on the second floor opens in five minutes," she replied looking at her watch. "They have the most amazing muffins and they should be coming out of the oven right about now."

This time Olivia returned the smile.

"Okay, I can take a hint. Take care of my baby."

"I will, I promise. You just take good care of yourself. Get you some breakfast, I'll be done in about half an hour."

"Thanks again," Olivia replied backing out of the room.

She made her way down the hall and found a ladies room. Inside she freshened up a bit, herself and made herself appear more presentable. She walked back through the two large double doors from the ICU and through the emergency room waiting area to the elevator.

As she waited something across the room caught her eye.

"Elliot?"

He raised his head and looked at her through bloodshot eyes.

"Hey," he replied jumping to his feet and forcing himself awake. "How is she?"

Olivia's jaw dropped.

"You waited out here all night?"

"It didn't feel right going home. Maureen came and picked Kathy up hours ago. She wanted to be with the other kids and go ahead and tell them. I thought you should have someone here for support."

"El, I am so, so sorry for your loss."

"Thanks."

She blinked as she stared at him, neither of them sure what to say next.

"Do you want some coffee? The nurse said there is a Starbucks up on the second floor."

"That sounds like a great idea," he said trying hard to hide his pain.

They got coffee and muffins and found a small table in the back where they could sit and talk a few minutes before heading back to Emma's room.

"I feel so bad that I left you out in that waiting room all night, I had no idea you were still out there. This isn't going to get you in trouble is it?"

"No. I told her I wanted to stay and she didn't protest."

Olivia raised her eyes to meet his.

"She said she thought it was a good idea," he continued.

"I really appreciate it," Olivia replied softly.

"How is she?"

"I don't know a lot yet. They pumped her stomach. And she has a tube in her throat helping her breathe. There are probably ten monitors all around her room keeping track of everything from her heart to her kidneys. The doctor said she isn't out of the woods yet and she could still have severe brain or organ damage. They just don't know yet," she said trying hard to hold herself together.

"But she is still alive," he said softly and it felt like a stab in her heart.

"I can't help but wonder what they were thinking," she said before realizing it was out loud.

"I don't get it either. Munch and Fin are working the scene, but neither of us is allowed anywhere near the precinct until they get this all figured out. I talked to Fin, but they are watching him close and he couldn't tell me much. He said he would call me when he had more details he could share."

Olivia stared at the table as he reached out and took her hand in his squeezing it tight.

"We should get you back to Emma now. You wanna be there when she wakes up," he said trying hard to give her some hope.

Back downstairs, the doctor insisted on speaking with Olivia alone before allowing visitors. Elliot waited in the hall as a nurse closed the blinds completely shutting him out of whatever was taking place inside that room. He paced slowly up and down the hall for nearly twenty minutes waiting for the door to open. After the nurse and doctor had stepped out, he walked inside.

Olivia was seated once more in the chair beside Emma's bed holding onto her hand. The breathing tube had been removed and a most of the monitors cleared out leaving only two remaining.

"What did he say?" Elliot asked picking up her chart from the door and trying hard to understand anything written inside it.

Olivia pressed her lips together as Elliot noticed she was crying once more.

"Elliot, we have a problem," was all she could spit out in a hoarse whisper.

His eyes fell to Emma still sleeping soundly in the bed, then bounced between the machines she was hooked to trying desperately to figure out what was going on. Finally he focused on the monitor with a little heart icon in the bottom corner and watched as the number fluctuated back and forth.

"One sixty two," he said studying the machine. "Is it healthy for her heart rate to be that high?"

Olivia gulped as she shook her head.

"That isn't _her _heart rate," she corrected him.

Elliot turned to look at her.

"Elliot, Emma is pregnant," she said as she began to cry once more.


	3. 3) The End Of Forever

_Forever Love_

_(Chapter Three: The End of Forever_)

"We said it didn't matter before, but it does now," Olivia said looking up at him with tears streaming down her face. "Please do this for me?"

"Of course," Elliot agreed with a nod.

Never before this moment had he ever wished that Emma wasn't his daughter. Somewhere inside all of this time he had almost hoped she was. She was a smart, beautiful girl who would make any parent proud. And he was the closest thing she'd ever had to a father.

But now the seriousness of the situation had set in. And his DNA matching Emma's would probably be the worst thing in the world that could happen. God only knows what it would mean for that poor defenseless little baby inside of her.

Assuming of course that Eli was the father of this child. Not that there was any doubt he would be. But if Emma was his daughter, that would mean Emma and Eli shared half their DNA. And if Eli was her baby's father, then it could cause an endless list of genetic defects for the unborn infant.

Elliot watched as a familiar face appeared in the doorway.

"Melinda, thank you for coming so fast," he said as she opened a paper bag and pulled out three DNA swabbing kits.

"Anything I can do to help. But you know, it could be faster if I had blood samples."

"Anything you need," Elliot said. "We can provide those too," he said looking back at Olivia.

"Of course," she replied sitting up in her chair.

Olivia watched as Melinda drew a blood sample from both she and Elliot, then moved to Emma's bedside. She opened the package on the swab and moved it around the girl's mouth then closed the cap and placed it inside a zip lock bag and wrote Emma's name on it. After taking a sample of Emma's blood as well she turned to go.

"I'll put a rush on these. But it is still going to be a couple of days before I can get the results."

Elliot forced a smile.

"That is great, thank you."

"I am very sorry for your loss and for everything that has gone on. I am working with the crime lab to get to the bottom of this and help figure out exactly what happened. I will call you as soon as I have something."

"Thank you," Olivia replied, forcing a smile.

Elliot watched as their friend disappeared and a stranger entered the room.

"Ms. Benson, I am Detective Wilkins, I am heading up the investigation in your daughter's case," he said extending his hand for her to shake.

Olivia looked confused.

"I was hoping maybe we could have a few words alone," he suggested turning his attention toward Elliot.

"I'm sorry," Elliot interrupted. "I thought Detectives Munch and Tutuola were heading the investigation."

"IAB decided it was a little too close to home and asked a few of us from the 2-7 to lend a hand. I assure you your friends are still on the case, they just wanted additional help finding out exactly what went on in that hotel room. I promise you ma'am, your daughter's case is in good hands. If I could just ask your friend to leave and speak to you in private for a few moments."

"Now wait a minute…." Elliot objected.

"It's okay, El," Olivia said standing from her chair. "But I wont talk in here. Not in front of her," she said shifting to Emma still sleeping in her hospital bed.

"There is a little room down the hall. One of my fellow officers is using it right now, but they should be about finished. We can move there if you'd like."

"Liv?"

"I'll be okay, Elliot. I want to fully cooperate so they can get to the bottom of this and finally tell us what happened. Can you sit here with Emma, please? I don't want her to be alone if she wakes up."

"Sure," he said watching as the stranger lead Olivia from the room.

"Can I get you anything Ms. Benson?" he asked as he reached for the door to the interview room opening it as he knocked.

"No, thank you. I am fine."

She paused for a moment hearing the words from the other detective in the room.

"Here is my theory on the events that took place in that room. Eli raped that girl. And when she threatened to tell on him, he forced her to take the pills. Ashamed of his own behavior, he popped a couple of handfuls himself. And as soon as the results of the rape kit we ordered come back, we will have our proof," he said interrogating the woman rather than questioning her.

"That is ridiculous!" Olivia snarled as the Kathy Stabler turned around in her chair to look at her.

Olivia shifted her eyes to see Kathy's face streaming with tears.

"Ms. Benson, we are just trying to find out who hurt your daughter. As I said, this is just a theory."

"Eli didn't hurt Emma."

"How do you know that?"

Olivia laughed.

"He would never hurt Emma. He looked out for her, protected her, ever since they were kids. I don't know what happened in that room. I don't know if someone harmed my daughter or if for some reason I just am not able to understand she chose to do this to herself. But I do know, without a doubt, that Eli Stabler did not hurt my daughter. He loved her. So I would appreciate it if you would scribble that down in your little pad and get it out of your head! And how dare you make accusations like that without the slightest shred of evidence!"

The short stout man stood dumbfounded as he stared speechless at Olivia.

"Ms. Benson," Detective Wilkins said from behind her, "why don't we step out for a moment and let them finish up. I am so sorry for the interruption."

Olivia leaned against the wall and bit her lip waiting her turn. She was furious that complete strangers who didn't know either of the kids could draw such a conclusion. They didn't bother to find out anything about either Emma or Eli, they were strangers and had didn't have the slightest clue about either of the kids.

Just then the door opened and Kathy Stabler stepped out. She was still crying and her eyes were all glassy as she passed Olivia without a glance. Liv took a deep breath and turned to walk inside the room.

"Olivia," Kathy's voice trembled behind her.

She turned to find Kathy standing disturbingly close to her.

"Yes?"

Kathy closed her eyes, then stared at the floor for a moment.

"Thank you. For what you said in there about my son."

"It is the truth, Kathy. Eli has known Emma all her life, and I know that he would never hurt her. And anyone who really knows them would tell you that. Do you remember when she was eleven and they were playing in the tree house in my back yard? I was working and Emma fell from the tree and broke her arm. Eli carried her all the way to your house to get her help. He always looked out for her. I am truly sorry for your loss. He was an amazing young man."

Kathy exhaled and unable to find words simply nodded her head as she turned and walked away.

"I'm sorry I yelled at your friend," Olivia said as Detective Wilkins handed her a cup of coffee.

"He was out of line."

"He was. But that was no excuse for my behavior."

"And he isn't my friend. Merely a co-worker."

He smiled and Olivia couldn't help but smile as well.

"You are certain Eli Stabler never would have harmed your daughter….but could he have encouraged the suicide pact in some way?"

"I don't know. Possibly. Emma trusted him, though. I can't really see him ever asking her to do something that would hurt her like this."

"They were young. In love. And had big dreams waiting for them. Both kids had college scholarships in the works. An unplanned pregnancy sure puts a damper on things. Could Eli have maybe suggested the pills as a way to get rid of the baby? Emma takes too much, he thinks she is gone, can't live without her and takes some himself?"

Olivia considered the scenario for a moment, relying on her cop side rather than her mother side to find logic in his reasoning.

"I guess it is possible. It just really doesn't sound like Eli. He was raised in Catholic, went to a Catholic high school. His parents got pregnant in high school and married young, they have been together for years and raised five kids together. Neither he or Emma believed in abortion, so I don't really see them trying to kill the baby."

"Well, the tox reports show the levels of sleeping pills and anti depressants pumped from your daughter's stomach too high to be accidental. And Eli had more in his system than Emma did in hers."

"I think it is obvious it was a suicide attempt. I just don't have any idea why they would have done it," she lied through her tears.

"Kathy Stabler seems to think her husband fathered your child."

He paused and Olivia's eyes shot up to meet his.

"Is this true?"

"We are awaiting paternity results."

"But there is a possibility that Elliot Stabler is Emma's father?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Maybe the kids knew a little more than you thought. Could they have somehow found out they were half brother and sister?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. The only people who even knew there was a possibility until today were Elliot and I, Kathy and my ex-husband."

"And where is he?"

"Married to some stripper in Vegas. He hasn't seen Emma since she was a baby. I found out I was pregnant after we were divorced and he wanted nothing to do with me or my child. He knew there was a chance she wasn't his, but I don't think he knew that she could be Elliot's. Anyway, why would he care? That just gives him a viable excuse for not paying child support the last seventeen years."

"It is true it wouldn't have been in his best interest to expose your secret. But what if Emma had contacted him? She calls him wanting to know why daddy was never around and he spills the beans that he isn't her father."

"Emma hasn't shown any interest in him at all since she was a little girl. He called the house drunk one night and she answered the phone. She was about to have her sixth birthday and he promised her that he would be there for her party."

"He didn't show up?"

"Of course not. And I spent the entire party trying to comfort my heart broken six year old while the other kids played games and rode ponies. But Emma realized that day that he was not dependable, she lost that faith in him that a child has in their parent. That little girl learned a very grown up lesson that day."

"It sounds like it. You are sure Elliot wouldn't have told her? Or maybe Kathy or Elliot told Eli? If the kids were getting a little too close for comfort, they may have used this to try and push them apart. But it was too late. Emma realizes she is pregnant with her brother's child. They are scared kids. You have said they don't believe in abortion, maybe killing herself seemed the only option at the time."

"Oh God," Olivia exhaled. "That is the only scenario that completely makes sense. But I just don't know."

"Maybe Eli found her after she had taken the pills and tried to save her. He tried to get her to throw them up. There was vomit at the scene. When the attempt failed he laid down beside her and finished off the bottle himself."

Olivia felt sick and heartbroken.

"Bottom line is no one can tell us what happened in that room but Emma."

"What if she doesn't wake up? Or what if she has brain damage and can't tell you? We may never really know," Olivia pointed out swallowing hard at the horrible thoughts.

"This is our theory as of now. I am not even sure that other detective is working the right case," he said as Olivia smiled a small smile. "We are not looking to blame either of them, but I think it is only fair to warn you that a lot of times in cases like this…."

"There are other cases like this?" Olivia asked mortified.

"Unfortunately suicide pacts are not all that uncommon. But something that has happened in the past when one victim survives and the other does not….sometimes lawsuits are filed. I don't know that anything like this would happen in your case, but it couldn't hurt to find Emma a legal advocate as soon as possible. And limit her exposure to Elliot and Kathy Stabler as well as the press."

"She could be his daughter," Olivia objected.

"Eli Stabler was definitely his son," the detective pointed out as he stared into her eyes.

Olivia took a moment and tried to imagine Elliot turning on them. It was not likely to happen, but when the thought was applied to Kathy Stabler it was not so preposterous.

The man walked her back to Emma's hospital room where he handed her a business card.

"Give them a call," he said as she examined the law office name on the front of the card. "I am sure they can help you."

"Thank you."

"What did he say?" Elliot asked as the man left the room.

"He suggested I get a lawyer to protect her from the media."

"It couldn't hurt," Elliot agreed.

"He also said incase you or Kathy decide to file a lawsuit against her."

"I would never do that, Liv."

"I don't think it is you he is worried about. But like you said it couldn't hurt to have someone on retainer just in case."

Olivia took her seat beside Emma's bed and brushed a lock of dark hair back from the girl's face. She looked her over then shifted her eyes up to look at Elliot.

Elliot turned his attention from Emma, back to Olivia and caught her watching him.

"How are you holding up?" she asked with a soft smile.

"The funeral is tomorrow morning. Kathy isn't even talking to me and the other kids are so upset they don't know what to think. There are so many rumors floating around….they are scared out of their minds. Kathleen said she heard somewhere that Eli attacked Emma. Did the doctor say anything about that to you?"

Olivia shook her head and stared at her daughter.

"When Detective Wilkins took me down the hall to talk he opened the door while another detective was still interviewing someone. I over heard the other detective suggest that Eli had raped her and I kind of flipped out on him. Eli would have never hurt her. And he sure wouldn't have raped her. The doctor has examined her repeatedly and never reported seeing any signs of rape. It is just a horrible rumor that got started somewhere, but I know that Eli never would have done anything like that to Emma. He always looked after her, did his best to protect her."

Elliot smiled.

"Yea, he did," he remembered.

"Elliot, the person he was interviewing was Kathy."

He raised his head and looked at her.

"What did she say?"

"Nothing when I was in the room. But when they were finished and she came out, she thanked me. For saying what I'd said about Eli. The cops are still tossing around theories, but they have no idea what really happened. And there are about a dozen people waiting to pounce on her when she wakes up. Everyone has questions and they all want answers."

"It is probably going to be pretty hard on her. Especially when she realizes he didn't make it. Listen, it's getting late and we are supposed to have dinner with the kids. I'll stop by tomorrow before the funeral to see her. Call me if you need me or if anything changes."

"Thanks, I will."

"Liv, I know that you don't want to leave Emma right now. But I want you to know that you are welcome to attend the funeral if you would like to. Our kids grew up together, Eli was at you house all the time. He practically ate you out of house and home."

Olivia smiled.

"He was a great kid and it was a pleasure to have him around. Honestly, Elliot, if it wasn't for this paternity issue….I would be thrilled that Emma chose such a fine young man to date. He is every parent's dream date for their daughter. Smart and respectful, he always used his manors and was a good influence on her."

"I think she was the good influence on him. I don't think he ever would have landed that baseball scholarship if Emma hadn't offered to tutor him. Hell, I have no idea how to do half the homework he brought home."

"They were quite a pair," Olivia said with a smile.

"Yes, they were," he agreed. "Have a good night. Remember I am just a phone call away if you wanna talk."

"I'm here too. I realize you are surrounded by family and friends right now, but if you need a moment….I am here."

"Good night, Liv."

"Good night, El."

"Good night, sweetheart," he said leaning over to kiss Emma's forehead. "Take care of our girl," he replied smiling at Olivia.

"I will."

She watched as he disappeared down the hall and settled into the chair beside Emma's bed once more. She stared at the lights and buttons on the monitor's around the bed. Miraculously, the baby seemed to have a very strong heartbeat. Somehow in the midst of this nightmare, that tiny little pea sized infant had managed to survive.

As nervous as she was for the health and well being of this child, Olivia couldn't help but smile. If that wasn't a strong sign that God was on their side, she didn't know what was. She exhaled and pulled a bottle of nail polish from her purse as she took Emma's hand in hers.

It makes sense, Olivia thought to herself as she sat at her daughter's hospital bedside. Of all of the completely unexpected things that had gone on over the last few months the fact that Emma and Eli had found feelings for each other was the only one thing that did make sense.

Olivia had moved to Queens when Emma was a toddler. Being a single mother, she felt the city just couldn't offer the comfort and safety that a smaller community could. It was Elliot who had suggested Queens, or more particularly the little suburb of Queens where he lived with his family, as a comfortable place to raise children. He should know, seeing as Eli was the youngest of the five Stabler children and Elliot and his wife Kathy had lived in the same house, 707 S. Maple Street for the last twenty five years. After careful consideration and strongly on the recommendation of her dear friend and co-worker, Olivia purchased a house just five blocks over from the Stabler home at 711 S. Willow Tree Lane and she made that house their home.

The bond between her daughter and the youngest Stabler son formed when they were small children. Kathy Stabler often babysat Emma and would keep her when Elliot and Olivia would get called out to work late nights on cases. Olivia would carry her daughter into Eli's bedroom and tuck her into the second twin bed before heading off to work. In the morning, Kathy would drop both children off at school, Emma to the public elementary school a few miles away and Eli to the private Catholic school down the block, before she, herself would head off to work.

Eli, being nearly two years older than Emma, had always looked out for her much the way an older sibling would. Olivia had always found comfort in this since Emma didn't actually have any siblings of her own. They played together on summer afternoons and snow days and always seemed to have each other's back. Eli, now an eighteen year old Senior in high school, had been working odd jobs to earn money for as long as she could remember. He had mowed laws around the neighborhood and held a paper route since he was eleven years old, saving up money to buy his first car. When the time came, he bought an old Mustang convertible, a clunker that gave the term 'fixer upper' a new meaning. Then he and a few of his buddies from school rebuilt the engine and restored the car.

Eli was a bright kid, though it seemed he was better with his hands than he was with his mind. A star baseball player, his only real hope at financing college was a baseball scholarship which he seemed a perfect fit for if he could only keep his grades up enough to qualify.

For Emma, a barely seventeen year old Junior, academics seemed to come easy. She had been an honor roll student since she started school and had already received acceptance letters to three of her five choice schools. Emma worked part time after school as a waitress at a diner across town to help her mother make ends meet. And in her free time she tutored Eli to help him keep his grades up. In return he gave her rides to school.

Emma didn't have a car of her own, so Olivia usually drove one of the squad cars back and forth leaving her SUV for her daughter. But all of the kids at her school thought it was cool when Eli pulled up to the door with the top down to drop her off. All of the girls drooled over the attractive teen with his father's eyes and all of the boys drooled over his car and the girl who climbed out of it. Emma Benson was quiet and pretty much kept to herself, but she was friendly and popular as well and this little bit of added mystery didn't seem to hurt her reputation any.

_Emma opened her eyes in the darkness and listened to the soft tapping sound as it echoed throughout the room. She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes then turned her attention to her bedroom window where the noise seemed to be coming from. _

"_Eli Stabler," she said opening the pane of glass and leaning out to look at him, "what are you doing here? It is one o'clock in the morning."_

"_I know, I know. I was hoping we could just go over it one more time."_

"_We crammed for hours, you know it."_

"_Please, Em… Just come down to the kitchen and let me in." _

"_No way! You'll wake my mom and she'll kill us both."_

"_Emma, you know how important this is. If I fail this Geometry test tomorrow there is no way coach will let me pitch in Friday's game. Word is there are going to be scouts there from three different schools looking to hand out scholarships."_

_Emma pressed her lips together and shifted her attention to the opened bedroom door across the room. _

"_Just a second," she whispered disappearing from the window for a moment. _

_She crept quietly down the hall to the room where her mother slept and carefully pushed open the door. It had been days since Olivia had gotten a decent night's sleep and she was dead to the world. _

"_Night mom," Emma whispered backing into the hallway and pulling the door shut behind her._

_She returned to her bedroom closing her bedroom door and turning the lock on the handle, just in case. Then she returned to the window where Eli still stood waiting for her._

"_You'll have to climb up," she said looking down at him once more._

"_What? Just come around and open the door."_

"_Do you want to do this or not? My mom hasn't slept more than a couple of hours in like a week. She is passed out cold right now, but the slightest bit of noise could wake her. Trust me, it would be better if you just climb up."_

"_Up what, the tree?" he asked studying the large oak that grew just outside her bedroom window._

_Emma gave him a nod._

"_Those branches are never gonna hold me. They'll snap in two."_

_She bit her lip and studied the situation for a moment._

"_I've got it. Go around to the side of the garage. Climb up the lattice onto the roof. Then just walk around to the window."_

_Eli frowned at the thought of one of the neighbors seeing him and reporting him for breaking into a police officer's house. _

"_Are you sure this is a good idea. Maybe we could just go over it from here," he said as the neighbor's dog began to bark._

"_Quiet, Charlie!" Emma called out in a loud whisper in the direction of the dog._

"_That mutt will wake the whole neighborhood."_

"_It's the only way."_

"_Alright," Eli finally agreed slipping the straps of his backpack over his shoulders as he disappeared around the side of the house._

_Emma waited nervously for him to appear on the roof, praying he wouldn't get hurt or make too much noise and get them both busted. _

"_Eli?" she whispered, but there was no answer. _

"_Em…" he said suddenly appearing from the other side of the roof._

"_Shit," she said hitting him with both fists and nearly knocking him off the roof. "What the hell? You scared the crap out of me! You were supposed to come up on the other side."_

_Eli laughed._

"_I saw something," he said tossing her an orange and blue Frisbee._

_Emma just shook her head at him._

"_Jerk."_

"_Hey, I'm the jerk who rescued your Frisbee," he clarified. _

"_It isn't mine. That's probably been up there for years. The sun has faded it all out. We should get started," she said tossing aside the plastic disc._

"_Maybe we should turn on the TV for sound," Eli suggested._

"_No, we just have to keep our voices down. If we leave the TV off I can hear her coming before she gets to the door."_

"_Good thinking."_

_Emma watched as he unzipped his book bag and pulled out a text book and binder. They sat in the floor together for an hour or so reviewing his notes on theorems. After a while Emma made her way to the vanity across the room and pulled her hair back into a loose pony tail. She pulled zip up sweatshirt from her closet and put it on over the white tank top she wore, zipping it half way._

"_You're cold? We should close the window."_

"_It will make too much noise. To close it and then open it again for you to leave. Let's just finish up here," she said laying down across the foot of the bed. "Try working some of the review problems in the back," she said with a yawn._

_Half an hour later Eli looked up to see her sleeping soundly. He smiled as he tucked his things into his bag and zipped it shut. He covered her with an extra blanket that had fallen from the foot of the bed and gently kissed her forehead._

"_Thanks Em," he whispered before making his way to the window once more. _

_He climbed back out onto the roof and dropped his book bag to the ground, then placed his palms against the glass of the window and slid it shut the best he could. Then he made his way to the edge of the roof and jumped down. Picking up his bag, he walked the couple of blocks back to his own home. _

Olivia opened her eyes suddenly feeling as if she were being watched. She raised her head and looked around the dark room and the people passing in the hall, but no one seemed to notice them. The clock on the wall told her it was four in the morning. As she sat back down she noticed Emma's big brown eyes had fluttered open and were now staring up at her.

"Hey, beautiful," she said with a smile as tears rose in her eyes.

She leaned forward to hug and kiss her daughter.

"How do you feel?"

"My head," Emma whispered. "Mom, what…"

She looked around the room in confusion and Olivia stood there waiting for her to get her bearings.

"I'm at the hospital?"

"Yes," Olivia whispered feeling tears rising. "They brought you here in an ambulance when they found you at that motel."

She watched as Emma sunk back into her pillow and a look of shame crossed her face. Things were quiet as Emma began to cry.

"Where is Eli?" she asked her eyed darting to Olivia's suddenly remembering he was with her that night.

Olivia was quiet for a moment unsure of what to say.

"I am so sorry, baby," she said softly as she began to shake her head. "Eli didn't make it."

"God, no!" Emma called out as she broke down crying.

Olivia sat on the edge of the bed and held her daughter in an attempt to comfort her and she, herself, began to cry as well.


	4. 4) Torn

_Forever Love_

_(Chapter Four: Torn_)

Olivia raised her head and focused her eyes on the figure in the darkness.

"Is that really necessary?" she whispered in confusion watching as the woman fastened the restraints around Emma's wrists tying her to the hospital bed.

"She is on suicide watch," the woman reminded her in a cold voice.

"But I am sitting right here. I am a detective with the NYPD that has got to count for something, right?" Olivia argued.

"Doctor's orders."

"Does she really look like a threat?" Olivia asked staring at her sleeping child.

"I should have had her move to the Psych ward just as soon as she stabilized," the doctor said looking over Emma's chart from the doorway.

Olivia stood up at attention.

"But I played the baby card."

"Baby card?" she asked shifting her eyes back to Emma.

"Yea, while Emma is stable, that baby is still very much in danger. Well, it could be. Everything is fine right now, but I need to keep her here where I can keep a close eye on the fetus."

"Thank you."

She watched as he smiled and looked over his shoulder at a man standing in the hall.

"Thank him. He's the one who brought it to my attention that this baby is an innocent victim."

"A Special Victim," the voice said as the man stepped into the room.

"Fin," Olivia said with a smile as she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"I'm sorry I haven't been by sooner."

"It's okay. It is good to see you."

"How's she doing?"

"The doctor said she was stable. They just want to keep an eye on the baby for a while."

"That's great."

"You kept her from the Psych ward, Fin. I owe you big time."

"Ehh, we're family. And family always has each other's backs. Emma is like a niece to me. I'm glad to hear she is doing better."

"Are they getting anywhere with the case?"

"They say they are working along side us, but the truth is they have pushed us completely out. They've got us running errands while they get dibs on any real evidence."

"There isn't much of a case, Fin. It was a suicide attempt on both parts. Sadly, by the time the ambulance got there it was too late to save Eli. If Emma hadn't gotten sick….she would probably be dead, too."

"Did she tell you that?"

"No, she hasn't said anything."

"Maybe she said something to Elliot."

"I mean she hasn't said anything to anyone. Those other cops are all over this. But Emma won't say anything about what happened that night. Not even to me."

"I'm sure she will come around. She just needs a little time, that's all."

"I hope you are right. I still don't see the point in the restraints, though," she said looking around him and staring at the nurse as she secured Emma's wrists to the bed.

"I'll tell you what," the doctor replied changing the settings on one of the machines, "we can leave them untied. But only when she is supervised. If there is no one else in the room with her, the restraints will have to be secured for her own safety and that of the baby. It is only until this suicide hold expires. Then we can do away with them for good."

Olivia watched as the nurse untied the restraint and they fell to the side of the bed.

"Press the call button and let us know before leaving the room for any reason," she explained. "If these orders are not followed she will have to wear the restraints all of the time."

"I will. I swear," Olivia agreed.

"What a mess," Fin mumbled looking back at Emma. "They are not exactly hospitable," he noted defensively.

"They are only trying to do their jobs," Olivia replied. "You are here awful early," she said suddenly realizing it was just after four thirty in the morning.

"The funeral is in a few hours. Thought I'd head in a little early and get some stuff done before. Are you gonna go?"

"I….I don't know. I know I should be there for Elliot, but….I don't really want to leave her alone."

"I could make an appearance, then sit here with her so you can go for a while," John Munch offered stepping into the room as well.

Olivia smiled, there was something so comforting about having her work family here with her.

"I wouldn't want to impose."

"I wouldn't mind a bit. Then if Emma should wake up while you are gone she has someone she knows here with her."

"I don't know," Olivia considered the proposition as she studied Emma once more.

"I know this is hard to deal with. And I am sure Elliot would understand either way. But if you want to go, I'll come by and pick you up. We can go together, if you'd like," Fin offered.

"Alright. I want to go, to be there for Elliot and for Emma. But I don't want to leave her for too long."

"Just say the word. We will leave whenever you are ready to go."

"Fin, can you do me one more favor?"

"Anything."

"Run by the house and bring me something to wear? There are some dresses toward the back of my closet, any of those will do."

"Okay, I we will be back in a few hours," Fin said as he and his partner stood to go.

Olivia opened the blinds a bit to look out into the rainy morning.

"Hopefully this mess clears up before the service," she said softly to herself.

A few hours later she stepped out of the bathroom to find Emma standing at the window.

"Hey, sweetheart," she said softly.

Emma opened her palm and placed it against the cold glass as she stared out into the dreary gray morning. She tipped her head to look back at her mother.

"You look pretty," she said in an almost whisper watching as Olivia put on an earring. "You're going to the funeral?"

"Unless you'd rather I stayed here?"

"No, one of us should be there. And they aren't gonna let me out of here to go," she replied turning her attention back to the window.

"I'm sorry, baby. I talked to the doctor….I was hoping that he would let you go if you were with me. But he said it is just too risky."

"Too risky? Because he thinks I might try to off myself again?"

Olivia flipped her head around to stare at her daughter with wild eyes.

"Don't freak out, mom. I'm not gonna do anything stupid. Anything….else….stupid."

Olivia exhaled and pulled her phone from her purse.

"I'm gonna call Fin….I should stay here with you."

"No….look, I'm sorry," Emma said with tears in her eyes. "I want you to go. Elliot is your best friend, mom. He needs you. I can't go, but that is nobody's fault but my own. Go. Be there for Elliot. And be there for me, for Eli."

"John is going to sit here with you while I am gone."

Emma laughed a little.

"You got me a babysitter? I am fine, really mom. You can trust me."

"I do trust you," Olivia replied forcing a smile. "But they have you on a suicide watch and that is the only way I can get around them tying you to the bed."

"That is ridiculous."

"I know. But for now we have to deal with it. At least Fin talked the doctor into keeping you out of the Psych ward."

"They wanted to put me in the loony bin?"

"That is where they usually do the hold for the suicide watch."

"But Uncle Fin got around it?"

"He talked to the doctor. Then the doctor decided to keep you here for a while so he could more closely monitor the baby."

Emma got quiet as she climbed back into her hospital bed. Obviously this was something else she just wasn't ready to talk about.

"Are you sure you are going to be alright while I'm gone?" Olivia asked.

"I'm fine, mom."

Olivia watched closely as Emma forced a smile.

"Really," she clarified.

"You should get some rest."

"Mom, I have been asleep for days. I don't really feel like resting," Emma replied picking up the remote control and turning on the television.

"Is there anything you need?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I could bring you some magazines, or movies or something."

"Can you bring my laptop? I am assuming this place has WiFi."

"Sure. I can stop by the house and get it."

"And I guess someone should bring me my homework, so I don't fall too far behind in school."

"I'll talk to your school. But I think you should take a couple of more days off before you jump back into school work."

"We have a strange relationship. You know that, right?" Emma asked.

"Why do you say that?"

Emma laughed.

"Well, usually it is the parent forcing the kid to do their school work. And the kid is begging the parent for more time off."

"Most people's kids aren't as great as mine," Olivia said with a smile.

Emma smiled.

"You're gonna be late." Emma reminded her as Munch and Fin entered the room.

"I have my phone….if you need me."

"I'll be fine, mom," Emma assured her.

Olivia hugged and kissed her daughter.

"I won't be gone too long."

"Mom," Emma called out stopping her as she stepped out the door.

"Yes?"

"Can you bring me some real food?"

Olivia smiled.

"Anything you want."

"Broccoli alfredo pasta from that place on 7th Street?"

Olivia smiled.

"Of course."

Olivia held her breath as she and Fin stepped into the back of the room where Stabler friends and family all gathered to say their goodbyes. As if feeling her presence Elliot raised his head and turned to focused his attention on his partner. Olivia nodded her silent greeting and could see that he had been crying, she herself could not even begin to imagine the pain their family must be feeling in this moment. Kathy Stabler, however, didn't seem as pleased to see Olivia.

"You okay?" Fin whispered to her.

"Yea," she replied, not breaking her eyes from Elliot's.

"There's an empty space over here," Fin pointed out as they slid into a pew in the back row.

They listened for a while as people said things about Eli. Stories of how they knew him and what a wonderful young man he was. Olivia felt so guilty inside and that guilt was eating her alive. She felt horrible that Eli was dead and although she knew that is was she and Elliot's actions that had brought them to this point, strangely that was not at all where her guilt came from.

Her guilt was much stronger, a selfish kind of guilt that stemmed from the relief she gained from knowing that Emma was going to be alright. And now, she sat here in the back row at Eli's visitation praying to God for only about the third time in years, thanking him for not taking her child. And knowing how horrible things were for Kathy and Elliot right now, who would never see their son again.

Olivia raised her eyes to see Kathy Stabler glaring at her from beside the casket.

"It's almost hard to believe we were actually once friends," Olivia said softly. "She hates me now."

They watched as Kathy Stabler disappeared from the room in tears.

"She is just going through a lot. I don't think she hates you."

"You don't? Fin, she can't even look at me."

"She is just upset and isn't really sure how to act around you. I am sure it will all pass once she has had a little time to heal.""

"I hope you are right," Olivia whispered studying the program in her hand. "I hope it is all that simple."

"Do you want to go up?" Fin asked as people began to stand for the viewing.

"Maybe it would be best if I didn't. Elliot knows we are here. Infact, I think I am gonna step outside for some fresh air."

"Are you sure you are alright? We can leave if you want to."

"No, I'm okay. You go ahead, I'll meet you at the car."

"Okay," Fin replied as she handed him the rose she had brought to place on the casket.

"Thank you, Fin," she said softly and he smiled at her as she turned and made her way outside.

Olivia leaned against the front of the building watching as the cold drizzle slid down the windows. She drew a deep breath feeling so empty inside it hurt, trying to cry but not finding the tears. The wind began to blow and she shivered a bit pulling her jacket closer around her body. Finally, she made her way to the car.

She started the motor and cranked up the heat. The windshield wipers made a whining sound as the smeared a blur across the glass and it looked like this mess was going to freeze. She sat there alone watching as her breath fogged up the windows.

She leaned into the heater vents still trembling from the cold that had crept all the way into her bones, but found no relief as the air blowing out was still cold. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back waiting for something to happen. Anything. Something to wake her from this horrible nightmare she had been stuck in these last few days.

The passengers side door opened then closed once more.

"That was fast," she said opening her eyes expecting to see Fin. "El?"

He stared at her for a moment then hit the button to lock the doors on the car. Olivia stared at him for a moment waiting to see what his next move would be.

"I wasn't sure you would come," he said clearing his throat and she could tell he was choking back tears once more.

"I didn't want to leave Emma. But I wanted to be here for you."

Elliot stared into her eyes.

"Munch is sitting with her so she isn't alone."

"I'm glad you came," he said softly. "It means a lot to me."

"I would have come up…." she said pausing for a moment. "Kathy didn't look too thrilled that I was here. I figured it would be better if I waited out here for Fin."

"Kathy still isn't sure how to handle all of this. None of us really are. Have you heard anything from Warner?"

"About the test? No, not yet."

Things were quiet between them for a few minutes and she focused her attention on the warm air beginning to blow across her face.

"Elliot, if I ever thought for a moment that everything we have done would lead to this….I wish I could take it all back," she said softly finally finding the tears she had been searching for.

"I wouldn't."

Olivia turned her head to look at him.

"Liv, I loved you. I still love you. And what we had, it was real. Maybe the worst timing in the world, but real all the same. And I don't regret it. I wouldn't take it back and I wouldn't change it. I know this would be the absolute worst possible scenario right now, but there is a good chance that I am Emma's father. So to say we would take it back, would mean taking her back."

"I have never been so scared in my life. The things we did….I know they felt right and maybe they were. But keeping it a secret, not telling our kids….Elliot, if Emma had known that there was a chance you could have been her father, she never would have let this thing with Eli go this far. And we would both still have our kids. Eli would still be going off to college this fall on that baseball scholarship and all of their dreams would come true. We were selfish. We only thought of ourselves and what we wanted, how things would effect us. We never stopped to think how this affair would effect Emma and Eli."

"How could we have known they would end up together?"

"It is more my fault than yours. We should have had this test done a long time ago. I should have told Emma the truth about her father, about who she was. But I held it back, I was afraid the truth would hurt her. But now the lie I told her has hurt her worse than any part of the truth ever could have. What was I thinking? What were we thinking?"

"We weren't. We were in love. And we both know that part is the truth. And for fear of hurting the people we loved we gave that up, Olivia. We walked away. I walked away from the one true love in my life and chose to stay with Kathy. And I did it, not because I loved her more or I didn't want to be with you. I did it because I thought that was what was best for my family. I sacrificed my own happiness to make things better for them. Eli was a toddler. If I had left, I would have missed out on so much with him. So I sacrificed…."

"Me for them?" she asked in confusion just beginning to understand what he was trying to say.

"My soul mate for my wife and my daughter for my son. I lost you and Emma. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. And I have never been so torn," he whispered wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "Until now."

"What do you mean?"

Elliot smiled.

"You have no idea how bad I want her to be mine. How bad I want to know once and for all that Emma is my child. But let's face it, right now that would be the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen for that baby's sake. Our grandbaby. I shake all of the bad thoughts in my head. All the things that I worry about for the baby if Emma is my daughter. If she and Eli were half brother and sister….the logical part of me realizes that it would be better if she wasn't mine, but the selfish part of me still really hopes she is. I don't know how to feel about anything anymore."

"El, you have always been the father figure in her life. No piece of paper is going to change that. You mean the world to Emma, even if you are not biologically related. She loves you."

"I love her too, Liv. And I want her to know that I am here for her, no matter how hard things get."

"She knows that."

"How is she holding up?"

"She woke up early this morning. The first thing she did was ask about Eli. I had to explain things to her and she is devastated. The cops on the case have all of these questions for her, but luckily the doctor has managed to keep them at bay. She barely talks and when she does she refuses to say anything about that night. She doesn't even acknowledge the pregnancy or the baby. The doctor says she is stable, but they are keeping her to monitor the baby for a while. She was upset that they wouldn't let her leave the hospital to come here. They have her on this suicide watch, so unless someone is right there in the room with her, they tie her to the bed. It scares me. She isn't the same child I have known all this time. The little girl I raised….she is there, I see her in Emma's eyes. But she is so distant and untrusting now. And it kills me to see the pain in her eyes."

"I'd like to come see her. If that's alright?"

"Of course. I think she'd like that. Maybe you can get her to talk about what happened."

"We all want answers, Liv. But bombarding her with questions isn't the best way to get them. Emma will talk about it when she is ready. I think right now it is best if we all just help her to see that we are here for her. I'm here for you, too."

Olivia stared into his eyes and smiled.

"I think I am the one who is supposed to be here for you right now."

Elliot slipped his hand into hers and squeezed it.

"We are here for each other."

"Always," Olivia said softly, her heart aching for the pain he must be in.

"Thanks again for coming."

She watched as he opened the car door and climbed out into the rain. How after all these years could this man still hold her heart in the palm of his hand? She leaned her head against the window and thought about what a mess she had made of things. One little lie had completely turned her world upside down.

"It is freezing out there," Fin said climbing into the car. "They are gonna head over to the grave side service in a few minutes if you want to go."

"I'd rather not if that's okay."

"That's just fine," he replied unsure of what to say to her. "Did you talk to Elliot?"

Olivia nodded in silence.

"He was really glad we came. I was thinking we could grab some food while we're out. That little café you like so much is just around the corner."

"I really just want to go by the house and grab some stuff, then get back to Emma. I don't want to be gone too long. She did actually ask me to pick her up some food though, we could get take out for everyone and you and Munch could join us for lunch."

"Alright," he agreed.

Emma leaned back in her bed with an accomplished look on her face.

"That isn't even a real word," John Munch argued.

"Oh, it's real. Google it," she insisted.

"What the hell is a google?"

Emma laughed.

"Are you a sore loser, Uncle John?"

"I am not losing. Merely giving you a head start. It is something polite we older people like to do when we play games with kids," he replied leaning forward to study the jumbled mix of useless letters on the tray in front of him.

"We have been playing nearly an hour," she laughed. "You only give a head start at the beginning of the game," she replied calling his bluff.

"What's the score?"

"387 to 175."

"I'm still in the lead."

"Not quite," she laughed.

"How…"

"Right here," she replied pointing to the board, "quizzicality, is 44 points. And there, Oxyphenbutazone, that's another 41 points."

Munch blinked and stared at her amazed.

"That's real?"

"Yes," she laughed. "It is an anti-inflammatory drug that they use to treat arthritis."

"Where do you come up with these words?"

"Come on, Uncle John, psychoanalyzing….that was not that big a stretch. Although, I will have to admit quizzing and jazziness, very well played."

"You had like 17 points for the first twenty minutes. You were hustling me," he replied giving her an impressed look.

"That's what you get for trying to take advantage of a kid," she replied with a smile.

"A damn smart kid."

Emma smiled as she began to laugh.

"What is so funny?"

"Confession…"

"I'm listening."

"I have been taking college prep courses since my freshman year. Vocabulary is one of my strong suits."

"I can see that. I am three and a half times your age and you are popping out words I don't even know the meaning of. You are a very smart girl, Emma. But cramming like that will just make you crazy. Too much school isn't necessarily a good thing."

"I have to keep my GPA up. I am going to be valedictorian."

"That is a great goal."

"I have to be to get a scholarship to a good school. It has always been mom's dream for me to get into a good college. I think I owe her that."

"Em, you're a great kid. Smart and hard working. You've never really been in trouble…."

"Until now," she corrected him.

"Your mother loves you more than anything. And there isn't anything that any of us wouldn't do for you. You know that, right?"

Emma smiled.

"I know."

"I think valedictorian is a great goal. Great school, even better goal. But you should be doing this for you, honey, not your mother."

"I'm doing it for us both. I want to go to a good school. Maybe almost as much as mom wants me to," she laughed. "She has worked a hundred hours a week since I was born just to give me everything I have ever wanted or needed. She is an incredible mom and she has always been there for me. I want to go to medical school. I know we can't afford that. Mom isn't the type to take no for an answer."

"I know that," Munch said with a smile.

"Do you know how many hours she would have to work to pay for Dartmouth or Harvard? Or how many jobs she would have to have?"

"Dartmouth or Harvard? Great goals."

"If I can get a scholarship, even just a partial, to help pay for college it would make things so much easier on mom. I have a college fund she started for me when she first found out she was pregnant," Emma said with a smile. "I wasn't even born yet and already she was planning for my future. I have been picking up shifts at the diner for the last three summers and a few days a week during school months. We have about twenty five thousand dollars saved up."

"That's pretty good, Emma. You have a very bright future ahead of you, honey."

"I have already been accepted to a couple different schools, but acceptance means nothing if you cannot afford to pay for it. The money we have saved won't even cover a year at Harvard," Emma said looking up at him with tears in her eyes. "This is mom's dream….and mine. And I will do anything to make it happen. For her, and for me."

"Very smart kid," Munch said softly. "You are so much like your mom. And I know that when you are a teenager that is probably the last thing you want to hear. But trust me, that is a very good thing. Your mother is a strong, caring, dedicated woman who gives her all with everything she does. So being like her, that is a good thing."

"Yea," Emma agreed with a smile. "Uncle John, I appreciate you coming to see me and keeping me company while mom is gone. And helping me keep my mind off….things."

"No problem, kid. I'll be glad to hang out with you any old time you want."

"Really?"

"Yea. Besides, you have taught me a few things today."

Emma laughed.

"Like what?"

She watched as he pulled a small notepad from his suit pocket.

"Oxyphenbutazone," he replied. "41 points."

Emma smiled.

Two hours later, Olivia noticed something strange as she stepped off the elevator and made her way down the hall toward Emma's room. There, just inside the doorway Kathy Stabler stood shaking a tearful Emma and yelling at her.

Before Fin even knew what happened, Olivia dropped her bags in the hallway and pushed past him. In seconds she had shoved Kathy away from her daughter and the two women fighting right there in the doorway.

"What the Hell?" Munch replied stepping back into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand, completely blown away by the sight.

"Whoa, whoa," Fin said trying his hardest to push between the women and break them apart.

"Hey," Elliot announced releasing a bunch of balloons into the air and sitting aside a vase of pink roses as he stepped into the scuffle.

Fin caught a right hook to the jaw as he picked Olivia up and Elliot pulled his wife out into the hallway.

"Easy mama bear," Fin replied rubbing his jaw with one hand and gripping Olivia's shoulder with the other.

They watched as Olivia panted and tried to catch her breath.

"What the Hell were you thinking?" Elliot snapped at Kathy as she glared at him.

"I should have known you would take her side!"

"There are no sides in this, Kathy! You put your hands on a child!"

"That child is the reason our son is dead! I deserve an explanation! I deserve some answers!"

"We all do! But slapping and shaking a seventeen year old kid is not the way to get them!"

Kathy just stared at him and shook her head.

"Your handprint was still on her face, Kathy. I know things are screwed up right now, but I cannot believe you let yourself get this far out of control."

"I cannot believe you are sticking up for her. Actually, you know what, I can. You have always taken Olivia's side in this."

"If I have taken anyone's side it was yours. You wanted me to break it off, I did. I left the love of my life to come back and raise our family with you, because it was the right thing to do. Don't tell me I didn't take your side."

"I can't deal with this right now," Kathy said through tears as she turned and walked off.

Elliot stepped back into the room where Olivia was helping Emma back into her hospital bed. She raised her eyes and he stared into them.

"She put her hands on my kid, Elliot."

"I know."

"Mom," Emma said softly.

"She crossed a line. I have walked away from so much in the past, out of respect for you. But she put her hands on my child."

"I get it. You were just defending Emma."

"Mom, it was my fault," Emma said interrupting them.

Everyone in the room turned to look at her.

"Kathy came in, she was upset and crying and yelling. She kept asking me questions. Questions about Eli and what happened. Questions I wasn't ready to answer. She was in my face and yelling and…."

"And?" Olivia asked.

"And I hit her."

"You what?" Olivia asked with a look of disapproval.

"She said a lot of things she had no business saying."

"That does not give you an excuse to hit her, Emma! You were raised better than that."

"I know. But….the things she was saying, mom they were awful things. And she has no idea."

"Emma, she had no right to put her hands on you. But you didn't have any right to hit her either."

"I couldn't take it anymore. She hates me. And she was yelling the most awful things and demanding I tell her things. And wouldn't she said that…." Emma paused catching herself.

"What did she say, honey?" Elliot asked.

"She said that I was a home wrecking slut just like my mother. She doesn't know me and she doesn't know mom. And she made me so angry," the girl confessed with tears streaming down her face. "So I punched her in the mouth."

Elliot couldn't help but smile.

"Look at me, Em," Olivia said sincerely sitting on the edge of the bed. "People are going to say things, sometimes awful things that they have no right to say. You have to just let it go, honey. You can't go around hitting everyone because they made you mad."

"You hit her."

Olivia smiled.

"You're right, I did. And I was just as much in the wrong as you. I lost my temper because she hit my baby. There isn't anything in the world I wouldn't do for you."

Emma smiled.

"I know."

"But I do appreciate you trying to stand up for me."

Olivia hugged her daughter tight in her arms.

"This wasn't your fault," Olivia clarified. "This is a big mess between Kathy and Elliot and I and it really has nothing to do with you. You are just caught in the middle of it. It is my fault really."

"No, it's mine." Elliot replied. "I made this mess and everyone I love is paying the price. I knew I was married when I fell in love with your mother, Emma. And I stayed with Kathy to try to give our kids a family. And I know I hurt you and your mom in the process. But there hasn't been a second that I have not loved you both. I am sorry that you have to suffer the consequences of our actions. It isn't fair at all."

"It's my fault," John Munch said biting his lip. "I promised Olivia I would wait here. But Emma said she would be okay and I really wanted a cup of coffee. And when I came back they were already fighting. I was only gone about five minutes, Olivia, I swear."

"It's okay, John," Olivia assured him.

"You're right dude, it is all your fault," Fin whispered jokingly in his ear.

"Other than that, how did it go?" Olivia asked handing Emma her computer.

"We've been playing Scrabble," Munch announced.

"And I kicked his ass," Emma announced.

"Emma," Olivia said giving her a look of disparagement.

"She's right. She kicked my ass. That is a very smart kid you have there," he said smiling over at Emma.

"I know," Olivia replied proudly.

"Did you get my school work?"

"I will make the call tomorrow. I promise. Today, you should rest. But I we did bring lunch. And we brought enough for everyone," she said looking to Elliot as an invitation.

"I brought you some stuff, too, Em," he replied handing her the vase of roses from the table as Fin gathered her balloons.

"Thanks," she said with a smile. "They are really pretty."

"We all just want you to get to feeling better."

"My favorite pasta and a room full of my family is bound to help with that," she replied hugging Elliot tight. "I am sorry I hit Kathy," she whispered against his ear.

"I'm not," he whispered in response.

Emma smiled.

"I am not encouraging it in anyway. You mother is completely right on this one. But I understand it. There have been many times I have wanted to do that very same thing, but I can't hit a girl."

Emma smiled.

"Real men don't," she replied with a nod.

"That's right. And don't you ever forget that."

"I won't. I promise."

"I know that man will be devastated if he finds out she isn't his kid," Fin said softly to Olivia.

"I know. But that would the best outcome in this situation."

"I don't a tiny little thing like matching DNA is going to change the he feels about that kid. He loves her. He always has."

"I know," she replied with a smile.

"I never knew you could fight."

"I don't fight."

"You do. And you have one hell of a right hook. I have a sore jaw to prove it."

Olivia looked embarrassed.

"She had had it coming for a long time, Olivia."

"She threatened my daughter and I roughed her up a bit. It is over now, no big deal."

"You kicked her ass. Busted her lip and bloodied her nose. There is a trail of blood and blonde hair down the hallway," he said and they both laughed a little.

"She started it."

"Seriously, where'd you learn to fight like that."

"I grew up in a bad part of town, Fin. I learned early how to defend myself. I may not have spent any time on the street, but I went to public school. If you don't at least look like you can fight you get your ass kicked every day. I am sure it isn't like that in that prissy little prep schools like the one Kathy went to. And I'll bet she will think twice about touching my kid again."

"I'll bet you are right," Fin laughed.


End file.
